I Don’t Have My Diploma Yet
Whoever thought up the phrase, “having a senior moment” should be beaten severely with a hardened artery. Why should any lapse of memory signify the advancement of age? Just because I don’t remember why I came into a room doesn’t mean that I should be making funeral arrangements. Especially not when you consider childhood.
Most two-year olds have the attention spans of goldfish with ADD; they flit from one toy to the next like hyperactive hummingbirds. Any parent will tell you that a toddler with a ball in its hand cannot remember to put the ball in the box that is two baby steps away, at least not without a constant stream of, “Put it in the box, Honey, put it in the box.” But we don’t say that they are “having senior moments.” We say that they are behaving like children.
From this day forth, I am renouncing the idea of “senior moments.” My lapses of memory will be known as “toddler moments.” I am no longer forgetful; I am merely distracted by a prettier toy.
Now, where did I put my coffee?