…with Biscuits and Gravy?
I recently received a brochure from Starbucks telling me what to eat with my coffee. It seems that, like fine wine, one needs to pair the correct foods. You cannot mix your java and pastries willy-nilly. Colombian coffee needs zucchini nut bread to bring out its nutty flavors; Costa Rica Tarrazu requires lemon bars to bring out its citrus undertones.
When did breakfast become this complicated? I want coffee in the morning. I want it hot and black (there’s a joke here, but I’m not going to give in to the temptation), and administered intravenously if necessary. I may eat something with it, or I may not. Coffee is not meant to be fussed over in the morning, it is supposed to slap me into consciousness. My dad was always a ‘coffee and cigarettes’ man – what brand should he have smoked with his Folgers?
What’s next, sodas? Should I have Coke with my peanut butter to bring out the nutty quality of the cola, but Pepsi with pastrami to balance the spiciness of the sandwich with a lighter taste? Maybe I should serve Sprite with tuna salad the way we drink white wine with fish.
Excuse me. I’m going to go have a bologna sandwich with orange juice, before the Food Faux Pas Police stop me.